Tuesday, June 19, 2012

FaTshion Outfit of the Week.

It's 100 F here in Toronto today. If you're a kid you could fry an egg on the sidewalk to test that out. I'm out with The Girls tonight for a few Mohito's on a breezy patio, which led me to this post...I was deciding what to wear and was reminded of an experience I had when I bought this outfit.

I absolutely love linen in these hot Canadian summers, although I find it difficult to find good linen pieces here. I found a fabulous little shop in Florida that not only has beautiful linen clothes from Denmark and Germany, they have them in my size.

I'm a big girl...size 10 feet and I wear a US size 16/18. Which make me a Plus Size in most shops, a Special Size at Bergdoff Goodman, relegated to Salon Z in Saks, and pretty well the back corner near the washrooms in most Canadian department stores, and FAT to all other shops and designers. I CANNOT find fashionable pieces in my size in Canada. I order a lot from the US, from Navabi in Germany (they have wonderful European brands) and a few random sites such as Svoboda for jeans. So when in Florida, I frequent this little NAMELESS shop and buy great summer pieces. 

I had a good selection in my size, and ended up at the cash with this lovely peachy/nude linen top, this pair of cream linen balloon trousers as well as a few other tops, pants and a bracelet. The sales woman was wrapping my goods and I said to her how glad I was that they carried clothes in XL and XXL as it was hard to find such lovely fashionable clothes.
 To which she replied..
"you know it's all about portion control, if you put less on you plate, you'll eat less and lose weight"

I was really pissed.
What business was it of hers to judge me that I eat large quantities of food. Does she think that I haven't tried eating less, grapefruit diets, pills, shakes, exercise, medical advice and every bloody trick in the book. When I met my LONG LOST |FAMILY, I noticed how similar 50% of them were in body type. There IS a genetic pre-disposition to being overweight, and that may be half my battle. I've been to a dietitian, counselling ,weight watchers etc and still can;t keep my weight down. 
I seldom overeat, seldom touch junk food, and always cook from scratch with nothing but fresh ingredients. My green recycle bin is always full.  No processed foods in our house.

On the other hand, I walk for 50-60 minutes a day, do yoga 3 times a week (at home video) and despite my weight, I have perfect blood sugar, low blood pressure, perfect cholesterol, heart rate etc. Other than a knee injury and arthritis in my hand, I am in good health. My doctor is pleased, although she does encourage me to keep active and my weight down to avoid future issues. She reassures me that I have a large frame and I am healthy.
I take NO Medication and other than antibiotics for strep, never have.

Having said that, I do know I am fat. I would like to be thinner. BUT, I don't need ANY comments from a self righteous sales clerk or any one else for that matter.
My own father, who was overweight himself, never failed to make a comment about my weight. Note to all Fathers, DO NOT ADDRESS YOUR DAUGHTER's WEIGHT. Don't even go there for 2 seconds.

Fat seems to be one of the last in the arena's of Social Faux Pas's and political correctness, that people still feel free to comment openly, laughingly and without fear of criticism. 
I've had many, many comments in my life. They all hurt very much.
Making comments to and about fat people is being a bully.

Take the statement "Look at that Fat Chick"
Now substitute the word FAT for
Trailer Trash

These are things we DO NOT SAY anymore.

Everyone has an issue, most are well hidden and not in the open. FAT is not a topic for ridicule. As I always told my kids, "You never know what people are dealing with. Treat them as you would your own mother, sister, girlfriend etc." And if your mother's fat, do you want people making fun of her?

As a sales clerk, you can help by finding clothes in the store that flatter bigger bodies and fit well.
So that's my FaTshion outfit of the week.
Over and Out.


  1. That outfit is to die for. YOU are NOT fat...but the salesclerk IS a B-word! ;)

    1. i agree,i love that outfit i would love to own it.i beleave genetics has to do with body weight,size,& built.i new my grandmother was a bit overweight even though i never met her but i had seen pics.i was always told i look like her & have her body structure.i always feared being overweight so i would starve myself to keep myself in line.i got sick with a desease i was born with.ankylosing spondylitis.because of meds i blew up & my fears came true.now i am struggling with my weight.i eat foods i would never even try.i am careful about what i eat but i still am having trouble losing the weight.meds are part of he promblem but being sick with a desease that has no cure & i will only get worse.i get tired easily & excercise is a promblem.so i understand the issues & difficulties of being overweight

  2. You know, clothes typically bore me. But I love that outfit! I'm so surprised that I do actually. I know little about my family, but I have seen photos of the women. We all have tummies. Big boobs, tummies, and the butt. Every.single.generation on record. How can you fight that? I do not eat big portions. I eat yogurt for supper. I do yoga twice per day. And I am the same clothing size you are. When I lose weight, it stays off for a time, and then creeps back. I think maybe because it is comfortable there... Shame on that damned saleswoman!

  3. Rude is the word. I would have been so ticked. The outfit is darling. I would have been tempted, however, to tell the clerk to stick the purchase. You're a better person than me. I, too, strugglemall the time with my weight. I don't need someone to tell me about portion control. We know it all!

  4. I have never had to struggle with my weight but I can imagine, one stinging comment like that would do me in. WHY some people feel they must judge and say inappropriate or hurtful things is beyond me. It sounds like you are doing everything right and you are beautiful! I wanted to clap at the end of this post. :) Wear that outfit and feel great because it's adorable and so are you!

  5. We are all built differently and that's what makes us interesting, individual, and makes the world go round...you sound very healthy to me which is what's truly important, and beautiful to boot from what I've seen, inside and out I may add! You don't need to justify yourself to this idiot, ugh! Enough, I'm getting really pissed off here. I truly love that outfit, linen is the best, it's why Summer exhists. 100F in Toronto??? Ouch, my friend is visiting from Miami must feel right at home. We're heading for 98F tomorrow in NJ, not ready. Have a wonderful time with your mojitos and breezy new outfit!

  6. Very well said!!!! Shame on the sales clerk for saying something so inappropriate to you. Not to mention......it is none of her business how much you do or don't eat. Some people have no filter between their brain and their mouth and she is definitely one of those people!! You are fabulous just the way you are! Jana in Texas

  7. I can't believe how rude that sales clerk was. She's lucky you wanted the clothes enough to not walk out of the store. Will it taint your view of the store for future visits? I think you are very impressive to walk 50-60 minutes a day and do yoga 3 times a week. I wish i was that active. You go girl!

  8. Excellent post!

    Love, love, the outfit . . . Smashing!

    I struggle constantly with my weight. I decided about a year ago, no more "trying" to lose the twenty pounds I keep losing over and over and over. It is what it is . . . I am not going to live the rest of my life feeling like something is wrong. Instead, older with extra is my mantra . . .

    SHAME on the clerk, it truly was a bully comment.

    Enjoy the party and your friends, it is the best . . .

  9. Darlin' there are many reasons why I am proud to call you my friend, this post just happens to be another one.

    and that color will look smashing on you!

  10. Only two things should be important in life are you healthy and are you happy. That is all that should matter. I have taught a lot of students and I can think of as many girls that were stunningly beautiful that were large as I can skinny little rinky dink girls.

  11. It is not excusable to be rude to anyone. It is a really great outfit. I love linen too, over here on the US Niagara side we have those hot summers too and linen is a wonderful summer fabric. I am overweight too, but I just had all of my physicals and I am very healthy my doctor said. I am very happy with myself, I would like to loose weight but I am not going to put off wearing pretty clothes or feel bad about myself because of it. Be comfortable in your clothes and be proud of who you are, not what you look like.

  12. yikes. I wonder if, when she thinks about her comment later, she will feel remorse and embarrassment from presenting herself as a completely ill mannered and rude individual. Good for you for taking the high road and not flattening her on the spot. She has proven to us all that fat is not the worst thing we can be. I think you will make that outfit look beautiful.

  13. It's a beautiful outfir Chanis, but gee wiz, what a crappy sales assistant! Lets hope she realised how insensitive she was and felt a bit bad about it.

  14. Some people are just stupid...end of story!
    Sad thing is, she probably thought she was being helpful dispensing such insightful advice!
    Great outfit - definitely mojito-worthy.

  15. And my response to the sales clerk would have been 'and if you had shown more aptitude and intelligence at school you might have been a doctor rather than somebody who waits on smart fat girls '

  16. Oh my God! I totally thought this post was going to be about Fashion and I was struggling with what to write about linen. Because truly, there's not that much to say.
    I can't believe that that girl said that without being asked. That's ballsy! I'm wondering what I've let slip out over the years without thinking.
    My girl is pencil-thin but her BirthMom is majorly overweight as is BM's sister. The Sister told me that they all looked like Claire as children and then gained their weight as teens. Still, I will watch what I say around her if puberty changes her dramatically.
    Thanks for info.
    Your Friend, m.
    p.s. Fat chicks make the best Fag Hags! I would know.
    Is that insulting? I hope not because I mean it as a compliment. m.

  17. this is great! I'M following you from now on :)
    I'll be happy if you check out my blog and maybe follow too=)

  18. Some people are just so stupid! When I was younger I would have been upset over a comment like that but now at the (grand and wise/intolerant) age of 45 I no longer take any shit off anyone and would have told her to stuff the clothes and would probably have told her that I could control my portions and get slimmer if I chose to but she would always be a stupid and ignorant cow!! I know, sorry, I'm so rude!
    I love that outfit but not because it's big - because it's really nice and perfect for summer. I find it a nightmare to find clothes as I come from a family of skinny people and was skinny myself until I had my kids and now I'm huge but not in proportion. I have skinny arms and legs but with huge boobs and a fat tummy. I have a lazy diet - I don't eat much in terms of portion size, don't eat any rich foods or sauces, rarely drink alcohol but I miss meals constantly as I'm always so busy and then grab a chocolate bar or something stodgy which just sits in my tummy making me fatter! My husband has literally known me through thick and thin and has never made a nasty comment about my weight. My brother and sister eat a really healthy diet and exercise all the time and have never and never would say anything horrible about me. I often don't notice weight in people - I just notice whether or not I like them. I like you - fat and all!

  19. Well, such an inappropriate thing to say for anyone, never mind a sales clerk in a store that sells to all sizes.
    Judgment has always been something that I do not understand. Oh, I know why people do it, but I don't understand why THEY can't see why they do it.
    You're right - you never know what someone is going through - even, I suppose that store clerk. She probably doesn't feel good about herself and that's her way of trying to feel good.
    The golden rule is one that fits into any life, "Treat others as you would like to be treated."
    Who people are is not defined by the package they come in, but by the essence of love and compassion that they exude from within.
    It's a shame more people can't look beyond to a person's true essence.
    Cruelty is not beauty. Love is.

  20. The outfit is adorable and the color is perfect.
    I will be the Devils Advocate and say that maybe... if you had not brought up the subject of size, she might not have felt free to make a comment about diets.
    Just a thought.

    At the same time I totally agree with you about people thinking that they can comment about everything and anything. No one has boundaries anymore and the idea of good manners has become a thing of the past... for many.

    I have had the same thing happen to me, at dinner with people, where they offer me food and then tell me , Eat it, you need to some meat on your bones.
    Society today thinks that We all have the right to comment on personal issues of other people.

    When people start learning manners again, this sort of thing won't happen.

    (off my soap box now :)

  21. i can so relate to the opposite end of the spectrum. always the runt of the family i was teased constantly about being too skinny, flat chested, bony knees...you name it. high school was torture!

    people constantly amaze me with their ignorance. why someone chooses to be cruel over being kind just shocks me daily.

    i love your outfit and i bet you look absolutely gorgeous in it.

  22. I think that sales clerk is in the wrong business. Honestly, comments like that just make me sick. My dad's side of the family is larger and I look just like them so I agree genetics play a part. People can be so cruel, like you say, they have no idea why a person might be the size they are. I think your outfit looks great and I hope you wear it with pride!

  23. I would have never thought you were 16/18, you are a beautiful lady and look good in all your pics. Don't let someone like that take your joy away, she isn't worth it. I do know how you feel for I'm a plus too. Have a great day. Blessings, Lynda

  24. You're preaching to the choir sister! I used to be thin - then medical/emotional issues led me to gain 100 lbs. You are so absolutely right - it is almost impossible to find attractive "plus" size clothes in Canada. I used to be a bit of a "fashionista" (even worked in fashion retail) so it breaks my heart to be poorly dressed.

    Now your outfit - outstanding - gorgeous at any size and well accessorized. I've tried most of the diets, etc you mentioned. Now that I've hit the ripe old age of 50 - I've decided to say "Screw it". I do have high cholestrol and am attempting to work on that through my diet (diet as in the food I eat - not a deprivation plan). I've decided to chronicle it through my food blog and maybe I will have better staying power than my usual 2 weeks and even drrop a little weight...check it out if you have time. Ignore that B... in the store - Karma will get her in the end. I've seen your picture and read your blog - you are beautiful, inside and out! J

  25. One persons ideal body weight is not another persons. It sounds like you've found yours through healthy eating and exercise. In all the pics I've seen of you I think you look fantastic. As women, we spend way too much time worrying about our weight! I mentioned to my husband that I've gone up several pounds since we moved to FL and his reply was "Stop weighing yourself then" LOL...I like that plan!!!

    Your new outfit is gorgeous! I wish I could wear tops like that but I'm so busty that I end up looking pregnant:(

  26. I love your outfit and know exactly what you are talking about. I would love to loose weight just so I don't feel judged by others......

  27. She's probably starving and cranky. so rude.

  28. The worst thing is when they make jokes and comments about fat people with me in the room, or talking right at me......um hello??? Did you not see my size??? 2x here anybody? I have noticed that I seem to disappear. No sales help, when you are fat, and walk into a store, nobody seems to give a rip, they go straight to a skinny person.

    Oh I am going to check out those names you listed. Stupid clerk. Did she think her comment was gonna make you run to the nearest Jenny Craig.....my big fat ass, that it what I gotta say.

    By the way the outfit is beautiful. If anybody asked me why I am the size I am they would wish they did not bother.....or shrink back, and then you know what? They would get off my case I can tell you that.

  29. It is funny I read this today, after spending 2+ hours in Penningtons trying to find something to wear to my sons graduation......what a painful experience. Especially since I hate all the fabrics they use.........gross.

    1. I decided today they use all the ugly prints and fabrics for fat people.....

  30. Hello Chania

    I love your outfit and the shade of your top and the detail. You have put it together beautifully too with your jewellery

    Wear it in good health

    Helen xx

  31. Amen Chania and I say that as I am your very same size. I have normal b/p, labs, etc except I have rheumatoid arthritis and am in pain all the time. Yes losing weight would help and I lost 50 lbs two years ago and this is the slimmer me so I am happy with my size right now. Your outfit is lovely and so are you inside and out. xoxo, Olive

  32. I was really excited to see your beautiful outfit and wanted to find out more about the store...then I read the rest of the post and I would never shop there! I agree with everything you've said, and as someone who was once a size 6 but ended up with adrenal and hormone issues making that number a faint memory, I would have probably have laid into the salesperson! Beauty is not a number, it's about being healthy and gorgeous from the inside out...you my friend are a perfect 10!


  33. I love that outfit!! Most of what I would say about that comment has already been said above. I turned 50, gained 20 lbs. and now for the life of me cannot figure out any way to lose it. It is hard and I feel it every day now that none of my clothes fit. I walk, I don't eat junk food, matter of fact I have never been a junk food fan..but just looking at all these comments I do believe there are more of us that represent people that don't judge than that silly saleswoman that did judge.

  34. Oh wow, but will you go back to that store? I too struggle with my weight, I'm a stress eater and have put back on the 50 lbs I lost 5 years ago slowly but surely due to life going nuts and me not handling it well. My father too used to mention my weight and I grew up thinking I was fat - when I wasn't. So, whether I am or not, I always think I am. My daughter has gained a lot of weight due to various issues, so I am even more sensitive about people's judgement - my MIL is always whispering to me about my daughter's weight and I've told her to stop it. And she's aware of all her struggles while others are not. As you taught your children, you never know what people are going through and why they look or are acting the way they are. Always give them the benefit of the doubt, even that saleslady who should have known better, but probably felt that she was being helpful.

    The outfit is lovely and I hope your time with your friends was equally beautiful.

    From another shoe size 10 and dress/clothes size 18 wishing she was a 12.


  35. I needed a bathing suit while in Guatemala. I'm 5'9", which is half a foot taller than the average man there, and I'm like you, Chania - size 16/18 now, probably bigger then. I asked directions to a shop that sold "ropa por la piscina" - execrable Spanish for "pool clothes" LOL.

    It was clear to the shop keeper that I didn't speak much Spanish LOL. And it was clear to me that I wasn't going to buy one of her bikinis. So she made a phone call and asked, in Spanish, if another shop had bathing suits for fat ladies. I don't speak much Spanish, but I understand quite a bit.

    "No es GORDO!" I told her. "Not FAT!" "Yo soy GRANDE." LOLOL. She had the good grace to apologise.


  36. How absolutely pretty and feminine!

    I'm a fourteen/sixteen. I couldn't care LESS what anyone thinks of me!

    If I hear a comment I look that person IN THE EYE and say, "Look behind you..." (They do) and then "See? You can't see me anymore. Keep looking THERE!" Followed by a New York 'blessing'. LOL

    You dress however YOU like and ROCK ON, GIRLFRIEND!!

  37. Oh I love that cute out fit. Who knows the answer to our weight gains.
    I eat as healthy as I can. Gave up meat. Cook from scratch and I have thyroid problems. Can't seem to get my bad cholesterol down. Put on weight during my golden years and no matter how I try just can't get rid of the tummy roll.
    So be it. I am happy with the way I look and feel and that's all that matters. I'm 65 and dress how ever I like and don't give a DDDD!!!
    How is the sweet lab? Has he found a home yet?

  38. Love the outfit! As for the clerk, some people are just stupid, plain and simple. In December I found out that I'm insulin resistant by an endocrinologist after all of my complaints to my doctor about being bloated and gaining weight fell on deaf ears. Up until then, all of my tests were normal and only once he did specific insulin glucose interval tests could he see what was wrong. Now I follow a low GI diet and have lost 25 lbs since Xmas. I'm glad I took it into my own hands and insisted on seeing a specialist, othwise I would be still gaining weight. Exercise and eating ok just weren't enough for me - there was actually something wrong.

  39. Oh dear Sister~ How terrible to have someone say something like that! It shows they have a teeny tiny heart! I have been overweight for 20 years, and struggled and been depressed. I have been working on it for 9 months now, and have lost, but every single pound is a struggle. I also look like my family...almost all over weight~ But you know...if someone loves you...you are more blessed than all those teeny tiny hearts! ♥♥♥ Your dress is Beautiful!!!

  40. I'm sorry to hear how rude this person was to you. It seems being rude is the new style. Actually, there are a few more things people feel are perfectly fine to make fun of or insult. I'm not an evangelical Christian but I feel bad when I hear all over the media condemning them of being hateful as they say hateful things about them. I know several people that are the kindest, giving people I know and they get ridiculed all the time. I think they're described as stupid and heavy people are lazy. It funny I read this today. I was talking to a friend at the gym this morning and she was saying she wishes she could be like lots of women and not have such a poor self image. Neither of us are over weight. I understand how she feels. I look at women with a little more weight and notice their face always looks younger. Her obsession With weight gain has interfered with her marriage? You're right it started years ago from family making fun of her. She's now a twig. OK, I'm there because I love food and this is something I have to do. My sister has always been a health food person and deprived herself of certain foods and she's the most unhealthy person I know. By the way I love the outfit. You're a very pretty woman!

  41. Great post, Chania, and the outfit is very pretty. Good for you for taking care of your health, and for this inspiring post.

  42. I came over to compliment you on such a cute and comfy-looking outfit and was shocked to hear about your encounter with that rude employee. I'm sure other readers have chimed in with their outrage. I am, too! There is absolutely no excuse for the employee's comment or anyone commenting on anyone's weight, or as you say anything else. There is just such a horrible lack of civility nowadays, and I personally stop patronizing shops that don't train their employees well. Shopping for clothes should be a pleasant and fun experience (other than having to fork over the cash!) Sending warm thoughts your way ...


I love to read each and every comment and are thrilled that you take the time to send one. Thank you so much. Chania