Friday, October 14, 2011

Getting Stood Up

We often go to a very cool restaurant that is a comfortable mix of singles, couples and families, making it the perfect (safe) spot for first dates and blind dates.  At this place there are often couples who meet in the restaurant or bar for the first time, perhaps Internet daters.  You can tell because one is usually already seated when the next one comes in, a brief introduction, and then the dreaded, or perhaps wonderful first date conversation ensues.  We like to quietly observe the can be very amusing...and we try to gauge how the date is going.

Sometimes they get touchy pretty quick, sometimes they are painfully awkward looking, sometimes just clearly not can actually observe chemistry. I've done this with my female friends too. Lot of fun actually. My friend actually once asked the waiter to ask the happy couple a question we all had. Pretty nosy I know.

Yesterday the Raz man and I took ourselves out to an impromptu dinner at a really nice restaurant. We were waiting for our food when the hostess seated a young man at the table beside us.  Tall, good looking.  Nervous. He had a book with him which he was reading while waiting. "Big Date to my right" I said to Raz man.  The waitress went to his table, poured 2 glasses of water, a brief conversation ensued, and soon a champagne bucket was set on the table.  This is a pricey place, so it must have been a BIG DATE.

"oh oh....she's really late" I said to husband.....He was checking his cell frequently.  He got up to make a call in the foyer, then sat down again and started reading his book.  He was flipped the pages pretty fast, glancing at his cell over and over.  By this point I was getting nervous for him......

I lost track of him when my dinner arrived and 10 minutes later, he was gone.  The waitress was clearing the table and removing the champagne bucket.

Of course, she (he) could have had an emergency, but I suspect he was stood up.  I also wonder how confident he was that his date was actually going to arrive in the first place given that he must have asked for the wine/champagne, but it was not brought to the table to chill while he was waiting, plus he brought along a novel....not what you bring to a fancy restaurant when you know someone is meeting you in a minute.

That got me thinking about how awful it would be to be stood up.  It;s never happened to me, but I did have my prom date cancel the night before.  Have you ever been STOOD UP.


  1. oh my! poor guy! Luckily I've never been stood up since my guy and I have been together since high school but how awful would that be?! I've often commented on how lucky I am to not have to be in the dating scene, hoping to find "the one".
    Sounds like an interesting place to dine - for the people watching alone :)

  2. YES! And it felt horrible. Just happened to me a little over a year ago .. I was in a city I used to live in, had arranged to meet a person who had been very special for eight years, hadn't seen him in over fifteen years. We were to meet in the lobby of a place we used to frequent. I waited for over an hour ... he never arrived. Interestingly, a charming fellow spied me sitting nursing a drink, looking all over the place during my wait ... approached me, asked if I would like to wait with him, we shared another drink, watched a great baseball game on the bar TV ... talked and talked for what seemed like forever. My ego got fed, we shook hands, a peck on each cheek and it was off like Cinderella for little old me. I never heard from the man I was waiting for - and that's OK.

  3. I am ashamed to say that I stood up my first boyfriend.I arranged to meet him after school ( we were 17 )when he had got back from a holiday.We were a 'new' item and I was too scared to go through with meeting him because I had never kissed a boy and was dreading him finding out how 'sheltered' I was.I heard afterwards that he waited for over an hour.We never spoke again and I have never forgotten or forgiven my awful behaviour.I would NEVER do it again. Ugh... makes me cringe just to think of it.x

  4. As my sister always says, "Feelings!" A little reminder she sends out not to hurt or embarrass someone and send them into an insecure place.

    I have never been stood up, nor have I stood up anyone, and that equates to some pretty painful dates! But as she says often "feelings!"

  5. Poor man, I feel quite sorry for him, Chania, yes I have been stood up - entirely my own fault. I was about 17 or 18. We used to go to a sort of disco on a Wednesday night. I really fancied this boy. His friend asked me out. I went out with the friend but I was not really that keen on him and was a bit off with him. Dreamboat asked me out and never turned up. Lessons of life :0)

  6. How dare you assume that I would ever be stood up!
    Listen, I'm not going to feel bad for him. I'll spin it this way. Not knowing the actual facts, I'm going to assume that he was in the midst of working on his great novel and having champagne for two was part of his ritual.
    How's that?
    Your Friend, who has never been stood up, m.

  7. No, I have not, just dumped at 18 which broke my heart, but eventually led to my first date with my husband. I'm with Mark - part of this guy's MO. Ann P.S. Now I feel bad I said that, but still am in agreement.

  8. Oh my husband...more than once and after we were married (does that still count)! He invited me to lunch one day...we both had busy work schedules. I sat in the resto for half an hour waiting...when the two guys having lunch next to me asked me to join them, it occured to me hubby wasn't going to show.
    Second time, he was supposed to pick me up after an evening class I was taking...waited, waited, waited...never came...finally hailed a taxi. Who was the other woman? Work, of course!
    Have to hasn't happened again in a very long time!


I love to read each and every comment and are thrilled that you take the time to send one. Thank you so much. Chania