Thursday, December 24, 2009


Christmas Ornament from East Germany, one of my favourites.  This was actually one of 1/2 dozen given to me by an old Landlord.  Later I found out they were stolen from a storage locker in the apartment building, but I could not return them to their rightful owners.  I treasure them now but I do feel bad for the original owner, whoever that was.

Christmas to me, is a time to reflect on the past year and to celebrate your blessings with family and friends. 

It seems however, to become more and more stressful for people, as they lead increasingly busy lives, or have financial, emotional or family burdens.  I think in many familys, mine included, one person (usually the mum) tries to make it everything to everyone.  Maybe we try to make it what our childhood Christmas was, or what we secretly wished it could have been. 

Christmas is an odd time for me.  While I love to buy gifts, socialize and cook for friends and family, and love having my family under one roof, I always, without fail, suffer from a bit of melancholy at Christmas, especially on Christmas Eve. We started many years ago, hosting a party on Christmas Eve, because I wanted it to be a wonderful night for my family.  They tell me now that it is their favourite part of Christmas, and I love that their friends and ours, have made this evening part of their traditions.  I never quite get that "feeling" I feel I am supposed to have at Christmas. What it is I am searching for, I really am not sure. Maybe it doesn't exist.

This Christmas, I am reflecting on the passing of a sad period of time for me and my family, and celebrating that we have overcome it.  I am grateful to be in a place of strength to help another family member who is going through a hard time.  I am counting my blessings of having happy, healthy children and husband, as well as for my mother's ongoing good health and her strength and good nature, despite being wheelchair bound.  Christmas is special for her as it means a few extra outings from the nursing home and more time with family.  She has never complained about being debilitated by stroke at 69.  I am missing my beloved Mooch, our 1st Christmas in 13 years without him.  He loved our Xmas Eve party, all the company and snacks.  I am thankful for Lorraine.  I dont know where I would be without her. I am grateful to our troops who are fighting for our country and their families who support and love them. I am counting my blessings that I am surrounded this year by my "Beloved"s.  Wishing everyone peace, joy and blessings this Christmas.  Happy Christmas,


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